


sink in

by witchplease



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anxiety, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, feelings are hard, tender queers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-19
Updated: 2019-01-19
Packaged: 2019-10-12 23:17:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17476811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/witchplease/pseuds/witchplease
Summary: "David hated when it felt hard to love Patrick. He hated himself for that." The night after Patrick and David say "I love you", David finds himself struggling to accept Patrick's love.





	sink in

**Author's Note:**

> Shout out to all the wonderful David/Patrick writers who can't help but torture these beautiful, wholesome characters who don't deserve any of this. <3

i'm weighed down by your beautiful,  
collapsing underneath your perfect,  
drowning in your wonderful,  
and I'm letting you sink in.

\- **sink in** by amy shark

\---

David awoke with a gasp. He lurched forward in the bed, trying to catch his breath. As sleep began to slip away and his mind cleared, he recalled that feeling of sinking, drowning into the bed just before he forced himself awake in a panic. He pushed himself up and leaned against the headboard, breathing slowly and deliberately. 

David put his hand to his chest instinctively, feeling his heart pounding. He began to massage his sternum with his fingers and felt the warm flush traveling from his bare chest up to his neck and face. 

Patrick stirred next to him in the bed, forcing David to become aware of his surroundings. They were in Patrick’s room, at Ray’s house. The bed was cast in a blue glow from the window, the street outside calm and quiet. To David’s left, Patrick was breathing deeply in his sleep. Patrick was on his stomach with one arm curled around his pillow, the other tucked underneath him. 

David watched Patrick for a moment, worried that he had disturbed his sleep. Now that he was awake, he could tell how quiet the room was. His ears had been roaring as he jolted awake, searching for air. David felt like he had maybe yelled out, but now as he settled into the silence he wasn’t so sure. 

Reaching out his hand, David gently ran his fingers across Patrick’s back, tracing his shoulder blades and spine. He was in awe of this man. Just hours before, Patrick had so tenderly uttered those three words that sent David spinning. How did it come so easily to him? He knew that Patrick did not love recklessly, but he stretched and unfurled into love with David so effortlessly. 

He envied Patrick. Loving Patrick was at once the easiest and the hardest thing David had ever done. When it was easy, it was simple as breathing (Ironic, of course, David realized, as he was still struggling to expand his lungs). It was simple when they touched. His fingers lightly pressing the small of Patrick’s back as they walked around each other in the store. The frantic, rushed kisses in the backroom, the car, the bathroom at the motel. The weight of Patrick against his tongue, fingers grasping at David’s hair as he swallows Patrick’s release. 

When it was hard, it was like developing new muscles. Like his heart had atrophied. Sometimes it was physically painful to meet Patrick’s eyes, his tenderness cutting David like a knife. David hated when it felt hard to love Patrick. He hated himself for that. 

David’s hand was resting gently between Patrick’s shoulder blades, his heartbeat finally slowing to match Patrick’s. Patrick shifted in his sleep, his arm stretching out from underneath him. David ran his palm down Patrick’s shoulder, guiding him to rest his arm across his lap. Patrick murmured something and his eyelids fluttered open. 

“Why are you sitting up?” Patrick asked, his voice thick with sleep. He rolled over on his side, keeping his arm draped across David’s lap and squeezing his waist with a gentle tug. “What time is it?”

“Late. Early. I’m not sure,” David said quietly, squeezing Patrick’s arm in return. “I just woke up.”

“C’mere.” Patrick firmly gripped David’s waist and pulled at him. 

David complied, shuffling back down into the bed and curling into Patrick’s arms. He ran his arm down Patrick’s back and pulled his leg across his hip, tucking his hand under Patrick’s knee. Patrick smiled sleepily at him, kissing him softly on the lips. Patrick’s free hand moved from David’s waist to cup his jaw as he deepened the kiss. 

When Patrick pulled away to take a deep breath, he met David’s gaze. His eyes swept David’s face and David wondered if his pupils were giving him away. His breath had evened, but during his last panic attack, Patrick noticed that his pupils would stay dilated for sometime afterwards. 

Patrick gently ran his thumb along David’s cheekbone. “Are you okay?”

“I’m better now,” David closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against Patrick’s. 

David didn’t have to look at Patrick to know that his brow was furrowed and his eyes full of concern. And love. Patrick was always so full of love. Closing the gap between them, Patrick kissed David, his tongue slowly brushing against David’s. David felt his chest tighten and he was suddenly overwhelmed. 

“I love you,” Patrick said, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. He was relishing the way the words felt on his tongue. 

Tears pricked at David’s eyes and he opened his mouth to reply, but the words were caught in his throat. Shame bubbled in his stomach, up his chest, and his breathing became shallow. He’d already told Patrick he loved him, why couldn’t he now? What was wrong with him?

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Patrick quickly assured him, pulling David closer in his arms. David buried his face in the crook of Patrick’s neck. Patrick wrapped his arm around David’s waist, pressing his palm firmly at his back. “Breathe. It’s okay.”

Patrick took long breaths in and out and David clutched to his shoulders. They lay there, breathing together, for several moments. David felt his chest begin to relax, his lungs stretched more and more with each inhale and exhale. Pulling back to look at Patrick, David couldn’t help the sarcastic laugh that escaped his lips, “Oh my god, I am a mess!”

Patrick didn’t return the laugh, which made David squirm. He smirked, not quite making eye contact with Patrick. “You are too nice, I don’t deserve you.” 

David continued to try and laugh it off, but Patrick cut him off. “Yes, you do, David.” 

David didn’t respond, he didn’t trust himself to say anything.

“You deserve this, David,” Patrick continued, his eyes fierce and his voice firm. “You are not broken. You are not damaged goods. You deserve this happiness. You deserve this love.” 

David was so in love with Patrick. His eyes were swimming with tears, spilling onto his nose and down onto the pillow. “I hate that this feels hard sometimes. Loving you is so easy, Patrick. You make it so easy. I’m the one that messes this all up.”

“That’s not true, David,” Patrick said, his hand pressed tenderly at David’s heart. “It is so easy to love you. You get to accept that love. And you get to love back. We’re in this together now.” 

Something shook loose in David’s chest. He took a deep breath and brushed his hand across his eyes. He rolled Patrick onto his back and leaned into his chest, looking down at him. “I love you, Patrick.” 

Patrick’s eyes softened. He raised his hands to David’s face, pulling him into a long kiss. David fiercely returned the kiss, trusting that Patrick was able to see him completely in that moment. When he pulled away, he saw that Patrick's eyes were bright. David lay down next to Patrick and they moved together, an unspoken and comfortable language just their own. David turned so his back was flush against Patrick’s chest. Patrick wound his arms around David’s stomach and David clutched Patrick’s hands. David leaned his head back, Patrick responding with a soft kiss against his neck. 

Today, when David swept Patrick into a passionate kiss and told him he loved him, it didn’t feel like stretching muscles. It felt like a surrender. David felt like he was relaxing into himself in a way he had never experienced before. 

Loving Patrick was the simplest thing in the world. And he wanted to love himself as easily as Patrick loved him. David took a deep breath, sinking into Patrick’s embrace. This felt like a good start.


End file.
